Pain that isn’t transformed by God’s love becomes transferred.

Think about that. Let it sink in. It is truth. 

We all have wounds and we all have suffered. Haven’t you ever been hurt before? Suffered a great loss? Aren’t there moments in your past where you look back on and say, “Yeah, when that happened, I was hurt or I was wounded?” How quickly do the feelings that you felt back then come to the surface?

Anyone who feels they haven’t been hurt or felt loss at some point is simply lying to themselves. No one escapes this. We all have had those moments; the real bad ones are etched and burned into our minds. We can recall every specific detail of that day or that moment. 

We let that pain back in easily don’t we. We can, years later, still recall those moments in vivid detail and experience that pain and turmoil all over again. It plays like a video in our heart and minds like it was yesterday. We choose to play that tape and experience that pain over and over again. We have become skilled at letting that pain in. 

It doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t have to hurt forever. You have the power to overcome this.

You see, in those moments where we were hurt, it is possible that we learned something about ourselves, or made a silent promise to ourselves; something painful and hurtful. In most cases we believed a lie.  

“I am not worthy.”

“I am unlovable.”

“I am not important.”

“I just don’t matter.”

“I am only accepted when I give up sex.”

“I am only accepted when I make a fool of myself.”

“I am invisible.”

We all have an “I am” statement that is the result of some moment in history where we hurt. 

What is yours?

Maybe nothing comes to mind at this moment. Pray on that. Ask God to reveal it to you.

It is worth mentioning again, that “I am” statement of yours is probably a lie. 

Some of us have a whole back-pack stuffed full of past hurts. We cannot go through life in a fallen world without getting hurt. It just isn’t possible. We are an imperfect people living in a fallen world. So the question isn’t “what if I get hurt?” the question is “what do I do with that hurt once it happens?”

You can choose to let God in and let Him transform that hurt with His truth or we can choose to hold onto the pain. As with most things in life, you get to choose.

Once the wound is set, once the stone has been cast, once we feel the pain in our hearts we tend to form the “I am” statement and from that moment on we have the potential to relive that hurt and that pain. Similar situations will crop up in our life that reminds of the pain and, if we believe the lie of the “I am” statement that moment will only reinforce the lie. We saddle ourselves with more pain and agony and fall deeper into the belief that “I am _________” 

What was yours? You can fill in the blank right?

How quickly do let that pain in? How quickly do we let those hurtful lies become our truth? It is in our nature isn’t it? The door always seems to be open to reinforce the fact that “I am….”.

Think about this. How often do we let the love in? How many times has someone told you they loved you, or that you look nice today or that they are glad to see you? Do you down play that moment? Do you think nothing of it? We keep those comments from living inside the truth of who we are don’t we? We think, “no not me, I am not worthy of love, your just saying that” or “no, thanks for the kind words but I know you’re lying, I know the truth, I know that I am not attractive or I know that you really don’t care if I am here or not.” 

Think about that friend. This thought has captured me lately and I have to say it rings so true to my story and my “I am” statements. We don’t let love in as we should. We don’t let Hope in as we should. We don’t let God in as we should. We don’t give Him access to that pain or hurtful moment and we don’t let Him transform that pain. He will ya know. He can move into that moment and heal you if you let Him. That is what we should do friends. 

 

Let hope in.

Let grace in.

Let love in.

Let God in.

 

It only happens with an invitation. God is a gentleman and will not force himself into your life He wants you invite Him into the situation. 

When we don’t let Him in we carry that pain with us and do you know what we do with that pain? We transfer it to those in our lives and hurt those close to us. We can only hold so much pain and hurt in our lives and when fill up we have to release that negative energy to other people. 

Not intentionally. Not on purpose. It just happens. You snap at your kids over milk being spilled, we lash out at our spouse or loved one when they make an unintentional mistake. We kick the proverbial dog when we get home after work. Those seemingly minor moments of struggle turn into monumental moments of pain and strife because we let our pain remain inside of us and then transfer that pain to someone else.

I see this is what I have done in my life. I still do it. 

Now, I am growing and learning, and working on changing this behavior but it is there. This blog today is part of that process. I am letting you share in my journey and my education as a Christ follower. This is a profound moment for me and I wanted to share it as I know many of you struggle as I do. I know you do because I see your posts on Facebook, I listen to your stories, and well, your human. You can’t escape it. 

So while we are talking about changing things in 2014 I want to encourage you to examine those past hurts, past losses and past pains with Jesus at your side. I want you to also realize that it is OK to say that a certain situation hurt you. It is OK. You are valuable enough to admit that you are hurt and you are wounded. You don’t have to always be strong.  

You don’t have to “man up”, you don’t have to “suck it up”, it is not OK that someone hurt you.

Don’t just blow it off friend. I did that for years. I would think…that is OK, I am tough, I am a man and I can take it. Truth was I felt like I didn’t matter so therefore whatever happened to me was OK. One of my most powerful healing moments came when I finally, for the first time, acknowledge that what happened to me was not OK and that the situation hurt me. It was an amazing revelation. I took Jesus into my wounds and into my pain, and I relived those experiences. It wasn’t easy, feeling that pain again, seeing those images flash in my mind, I was a hot mess but this time I wasn’t alone in the replay. Christ was with me, holding me, nurturing me and He confirmed in me that IT WAS NOT OK. It was not OK that I was treated the way I was and that it was wrong. It was not OK and it was not my fault. In all my studying and healing those are the two most powerful statements I have ever uttered.

It was not OK what “they, he, she” did because it hurt me.

&

It was not my fault. I didn’t deserve it.

He was there this time and instead of hearing those lies again I learned the truth. He was there. He was always there loving me. Instilling value in me. 

Let me very clear here because I don’t want you to misunderstand what I am saying. We need to take ownership of our own behavior, I am not talking about shifting blame to another person here. There are some situations in which we suffer due to the consequences of our own poor choices. In those situations we need to own them and be responsible for them and where possible we need amend as we should. 

The other side of the coin though, does show us that in some cases things are not our fault. When we find and acknowledge those situations with Jesus at our side He will transform that pain into forgiveness. He will poor out His healing and will put together the tiny pieces of our shattered hearts. He will take our pain from us and replace it with love and forgiveness. 

So I want to encourage you, as you seek the change in your life. Start with the pains from your past. Start with identifying your wounds and invite Jesus into them. Let Him shine the light of TRUTH into your dark past.  Don’t forget. Jesus knows the pain you feel. He is not some lofty God sitting on a throne somewhere who has no idea what is people go through. He lived it. He was man, He suffered, he was tempted, and He knows how you feel.

Let Him in. Stop repeating the lies that are so hurtful to you. Let them go, replace them with the truth that you are cherished. You are one of a kind and designed specifically by God for a purpose.  

I close today, with some scriptures about pain and also with some quotes from other Christian authors on pain. 

Comfort in the Lord

Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Jesus Felt Pain

Hebrews 2:18 For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Pain Leads to Repentance

2 Corinthians 7:9-10 As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

Hope in the Future

Revelation 22:4-5 They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. And night will be no more. They will need no light of lampor sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever.

Romans 8:18  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Biblical Example of Pain in Job

Job 1:21 And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”

Job 6:10 This would be my comfort; I would even exult in pain unsparing, for I have not denied the words of the Holy One.

Strength Comes from God to Overcome Pain

1 Corinthians 10:13   No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

1 Peter 5:9-10   Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace,who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

Important Note: These Bible verses are helpful as written but to experience more discernment on this topic, please open your Bible and read the context these verses were taken from.

 Christian Quotes About Pain

Pain is a kindly, hopeful thing, a certain proof of life, a clear assurance that all is not yet over, that there is still a chance. But if your heart has no pain — well, that may betoken health, as you suppose: but are you certain that it does not mean that your soul is dead?  ~ A.J. Gossip

Though poor in this world’s goods, though grieving the loss of loved ones, though suffering pain of body, though harassed by sin and Satan, though hated and persecuted by worldlings, whatever be the case and lot of the Christian, it is both his privilege and duty to rejoice in the Lord.  ~ A.W. Pink

In spite of sorrow, loss, and pain, Our course be onward still; We sow on Burmah’s barren plain, We reap on Zion’s hill.  ~ Adoniram Judson

We are certainly in a common class with the beasts; every action of animal life is concerned with seeking bodily pleasure and avoiding pain.   ~ Augustine

Pain removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul.  ~ C.S. Lewis

Pain is no evil, unless it conquers us.  ~ Charles Kingsley

I am certain that I never did grow in grace one-half so much anywhere as I have upon the bed of pain.  ~ Charles Spurgeon

As I look back over fifty years of ministry, I recall innumerable tests, trials and times of crushing pain. But through it all, the Lord has proven faithful, loving, and totally true to all his promises.  ~ David Wilkerson

I am not a theologian or a scholar, but I am very aware of the fact that pain is necessary to all of us. In my own life, I think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and the love of God.  ~ Elizabeth Elliot

God never allows pain without a purpose in the lives of His children. He never allows Satan, nor circumstances, nor any ill-intending person to afflict us unless He uses that affliction for our good. God never wastes pain. He always causes it to work together for our ultimate good, the good of conforming us more to the likeness of His Son (see Romans 8:28-29).  ~ Jerry Bridges

Why is the road less taken……less taken?

Why is the road less taken……less taken? 

I’m thinking it might have something to do with the fact that it isn’t really all that easy to stay on the narrow road. It takes effort, determination, and practice to stay on it. Ya know the road I am talking about, that narrow road, the one we, as followers of Christ are called to be on….ya know the narrow path, not the wide path, but the narrow one. 

Matthew 7:13-14

13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

It is so easy for us to just find an exit ramp and find ourselves back on the wide road. Back in the same places that we have been, feeling the same emotions we have felt, and thinking the same way we used to think. This Christ following thing isn’t always so easy. And if you’re like me, being raised, first, in the ways of the world, we now find it a challenge to maintain our eternity view and live in the way that God calls us to live. 

We return to what we know and most of the time it isn’t even a conscious decision. We just return to the lies that we used to believe. We have believed them for so long they sometimes feel like the truth. Isn’t that amazing? We tend to find comfort when we return to those lies because in those lies is a place we are familiar with. It doesn’t matter that those lies are killing us or doing us harm. It just feels good to be back in familiar territory. It gets comfortable returning to the “couch” or the sidelines of life. 

 

In time though we figure out why it is we left those lies and turned to Christ in the first place. Why do we have to learn the same things over and over again? I suppose Paul suffered in a similar way didn’t he? Isn’t that we read in his rant in the books of Romans? (See Romans 7:15-25)

Let me share an example from my own life. At the beginning of the summer of 2013 I was hopeful that the momentum that I had going would continue and I would begin to settle down in my life and that the attacks would ease up and Satan wouldn’t always be knocking on my front door. Life was good, I was involved with the church, I was writing on this blog, my prayer life was strong, my fear of life had subsided. Man life was great and I had finally arrived at where I needed to be and could now sit back and enjoy. Boy was I so wrong. Don’t be fooled like I was friends, Satan will never give up. He will never stop hunting you down, never stop pressing into your life to ruin it. I believed his lie that I arrived and I relaxed. 

Just six months ago I prayed for change at work and when it came I was not ready. I wanted change as I was unhappy and had been praying but when it showed up so quickly my first reaction was fear. After a couple days I realized how silly I had been. Here I asked God to move and He does and I was upset at the disturbance in my life. I laughed at myself and realized that I am yet just a child stuck in my childlike ways. That was 6 months ago and I think the change is almost complete. 

It has been a long 6 months and I have changed in many ways and in yet in some ways I have not change but reverted to old ways. In so doing I have left the path that I should be on. I have left my place on the narrow road; I have left my seat at the banquet table if you will. 

The change at work was somewhat of a catalyst for my falling away from God’s ways. It took a lot of time and effort to overcome the obstacles that I faced at work to make this change work for me. I had to dedicate a lot of time and attention to be successful. While I do understand the needs of my job and the time I needed to invest to meet the challenge it made me very angry that this job could just take over my life. The demands of the job were so great that it lead to me dropping out of school. I was working long hours at the office and then working more at home.  This is why I quit my last job. I don’t have a life so I can work, I work so I can have a life and the working part got so great that it drowned out the important things in my life. I even quit writing on this blog. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have a great job and am surrounded by inspirational people and I believe this is where God wants me right now. It just got out of control and dominated my life more than I wanted it to.

So, with no school and only work in my life I lost my way. That was the old self, a workaholic. Nothing else mattered but the job. Before I knew it, other areas of my life were also returning to the old self. My old habits returned. It all lead me to fall right back into whom I was before I came to Christ.

You see, I ended up on the wide road because I simply made the wrong choices. I lost my focus. I believed those lies and let my deceitful desires corrupt me. I thought I was all that and was in complete control of my life. My faith was strong so I didn’t need to keep praying everyday or make sure I was at church every Sunday. I was in control, life was good. I was strong; I believed I would be OK. Maybe that is how the people of Ephesus felt.

Pastor Jared preached this past weekend in the book of Ephesians and also spoke about why Paul wrote the church of Ephesus a letter. You see the people of the church were falling away from their teachings in Christ and were slipping back to their old ways (just like I did) so Paul wrote them a letter of encouragement. Jared focused on the following verse.

Ephesians 4:20-24

20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.     

So here I am, January 4^th, 2014, and I am waking up again to the fact that God is not at the center of my life as He should be. I am no longer following Christ. I have left the battlefield and have returned to the sidelines and am now just a mere fan. I’m not happy with that. As a matter of fact, I am miserable. 

It is time to change things up, take control, and get back to the man God designed me to be.

It is time for Morning Prayer, time to humble myself AGAIN before my risen savior, time to seek forgiveness, and most importantly time to get back off that couch and into the battle. Yes friends, you know what that means. It is time to make cookies! 

How about you? Are you ready to lean in during 2014 and take control of your life again? We can do this by first letting go of the idea that we are in control. We are not. We can do nothing without Jesus, nothing of value anyway.

Victory through surrender is what is needed.

It won’t be easy, nothing of any real value ever is. What we need to do is follow the advice Paul gave in Ephesians 4:22. We need to put off the old self and to do that we need to change our old habits and start evaluating any new ones. Are you doing things that bring you closer to God or are you doing things that separate you from God?

What people are you surrounding yourself with? They say that you are the sum of the 5 people you hang around the most. Maybe it is time to replace a few friends who tend to lead you away from the Christian life. Preferably we would want them to start making changes too and be a part of this but in the end, the truth is, we have zero control over what they chose. We only have control over what WE choose for our lives. It may seem harsh, but if some people don’t want to change then maybe they need to go. No matter whom they are or how long you have been friends. 

This is your life you are talking about. Are you willing to sacrifice your future for the sake of being nice? I am not. 

Stand your ground Christian. You don’t have to stand alone. God is on your side. He ALWAYS stands with you, even if you are not paying attention to Him. He is there. 

Let me close with a prayer for you,

Dear Lord, 

Please nudge the person reading this right now. Fill them Lord, with the warmth of your love. Fill them with the reassurance Lord that you are in control and that you are ALWAYS working for good in their favor. You can take the mess we make of our lives and use it for good. 

Please open their eyes to the changes that they need to make in 2014. 

I lift them up to you Lord. 

Please open their eyes to the stuff that needs to go, to the changes that need to be made. 

No matter what it is Lord, reveal truth to them please. If it is a change in their habits show them, give them strength to stand against that habit. If it is a change in friendships, please open their eyes Lord as how to best separate themselves from those people. 

Touch also, those people who need to be let go of. Soften their hearts to you so that maybe, just maybe, these people recognize the truth about what is happening and they need you too. Bring these people to you too.

Help us all Lord, to see that the only true way to gain victory in this world is through surrender to you and your ways.

We again Lord, surrender unto you. Please give us the strength to see these changes all the way  through. We simply can’t do it without you. 

In Jesus name and power I pray these things. 

 

Amen      

Please join me this Sunday as we lean into Jesus and seek the changes we need for our lives.