Think about
that. Let it sink in. It is truth.
We all have
wounds and we all have suffered. Haven’t you ever been hurt before? Suffered a
great loss? Aren’t there moments in your past where you look back on and say,
“Yeah, when that happened, I was hurt or I was wounded?” How quickly do the
feelings that you felt back then come to the surface?
Anyone who
feels they haven’t been hurt or felt loss at some point is simply lying to
themselves. No one escapes this. We all have had those moments; the real bad
ones are etched and burned into our minds. We can recall every specific detail
of that day or that moment.
We let that
pain back in easily don’t we. We can, years later, still recall those moments in
vivid detail and experience that pain and turmoil all over again. It plays like
a video in our heart and minds like it was yesterday. We choose to play that
tape and experience that pain over and over again. We have become skilled at
letting that pain in.
It doesn’t
have to be that way. You don’t have to hurt forever. You have the power to
overcome this.
You see, in
those moments where we were hurt, it is possible that we learned something
about ourselves, or made a silent promise to ourselves; something painful and
hurtful. In most cases we believed a lie.
“I am not
worthy.”
“I am
unlovable.”
“I am not
important.”
“I just
don’t matter.”
“I am only
accepted when I give up sex.”
“I am only
accepted when I make a fool of myself.”
“I am
invisible.”
We all have
an “I am” statement that is the result of some moment in history where we hurt.
What is
yours?
Maybe
nothing comes to mind at this moment. Pray on that. Ask God to reveal it to
you.
It is worth
mentioning again, that “I am” statement of yours is probably a lie.
Some of us
have a whole back-pack stuffed full of past hurts. We cannot go through life in
a fallen world without getting hurt. It just isn’t possible. We are an imperfect
people living in a fallen world. So the question isn’t “what if I get hurt?”
the question is “what do I do with that hurt once it happens?”
You can
choose to let God in and let Him transform that hurt with His truth or we can
choose to hold onto the pain. As with most things in life, you get to choose.
Once the
wound is set, once the stone has been cast, once we feel the pain in our hearts
we tend to form the “I am” statement and from that moment on we have the
potential to relive that hurt and that pain. Similar situations will crop up in
our life that reminds of the pain and, if we believe the lie of the “I am”
statement that moment will only reinforce the lie. We saddle ourselves with
more pain and agony and fall deeper into the belief that “I am _________”
What was
yours? You can fill in the blank right?
How quickly
do let that pain in? How quickly do we let those hurtful lies become our truth?
It is in our nature isn’t it? The door always seems to be open to reinforce the
fact that “I am….”.
Think about
this. How often do we let the love in? How many times has someone told you they
loved you, or that you look nice today or that they are glad to see you? Do you
down play that moment? Do you think nothing of it? We keep those comments from
living inside the truth of who we are don’t we? We think, “no not me, I am not
worthy of love, your just saying that” or “no, thanks for the kind words but I
know you’re lying, I know the truth, I know that I am not attractive or I know
that you really don’t care if I am here or not.”
Think about
that friend. This thought has captured me lately and I have to say it rings so
true to my story and my “I am” statements. We don’t let love in as we should.
We don’t let Hope in as we should. We don’t let God in as we should. We don’t
give Him access to that pain or hurtful moment and we don’t let Him transform
that pain. He will ya know. He can move into that moment and heal you if you
let Him. That is what we should do friends.
Let hope in.
Let grace
in.
Let love in.
Let God in.
It only
happens with an invitation. God is a gentleman and will not force himself into
your life He wants you invite Him into the situation.
When we
don’t let Him in we carry that pain with us and do you know what we do with
that pain? We transfer it to those in our lives and hurt those close to us. We
can only hold so much pain and hurt in our lives and when fill up we have to
release that negative energy to other people.
Not intentionally. Not on purpose.
It just happens. You snap at your kids over milk being spilled, we lash out at
our spouse or loved one when they make an unintentional mistake. We kick the
proverbial dog when we get home after work. Those seemingly minor moments of
struggle turn into monumental moments of pain and strife because we let our
pain remain inside of us and then transfer that pain to someone else.
I see this
is what I have done in my life. I still do it.
Now, I am
growing and learning, and working on changing this behavior but it is there.
This blog today is part of that process. I am letting you share in my journey
and my education as a Christ follower. This is a profound moment for me and I
wanted to share it as I know many of you struggle as I do. I know you do
because I see your posts on Facebook, I listen to your stories, and well, your
human. You can’t escape it.
So while we
are talking about changing things in 2014 I want to encourage you to examine
those past hurts, past losses and past pains with Jesus at your side. I want
you to also realize that it is OK to say that a certain situation hurt you. It
is OK. You are valuable enough to admit that you are hurt and you are wounded.
You don’t have to always be strong.
You don’t
have to “man up”, you don’t have to “suck it up”, it is not OK that someone
hurt you.
Don’t just
blow it off friend. I did that for years. I would think…that is OK, I am tough,
I am a man and I can take it. Truth was I felt like I didn’t matter so
therefore whatever happened to me was OK. One of my most powerful healing
moments came when I finally, for the first time, acknowledge that what happened
to me was not OK and that the situation hurt me. It was an amazing revelation.
I took Jesus into my wounds and into my pain, and I relived those experiences.
It wasn’t easy, feeling that pain again, seeing those images flash in my mind,
I was a hot mess but this time I wasn’t alone in the replay. Christ was with
me, holding me, nurturing me and He confirmed in me that IT WAS NOT OK. It was
not OK that I was treated the way I was and that it was wrong. It was not OK
and it was not my fault. In all my studying and healing those are the two most
powerful statements I have ever uttered.
It was not
OK what “they, he, she” did because it hurt me.
&
It was not
my fault. I didn’t deserve it.
He was there
this time and instead of hearing those lies again I learned the truth. He was there.
He was always there loving me. Instilling value in me.
Let me very
clear here because I don’t want you to misunderstand what I am saying. We
need to take ownership of our own behavior, I am not talking about shifting
blame to another person here. There are some situations in which we suffer due
to the consequences of our own poor choices. In those situations we need to own
them and be responsible for them and where possible we need amend as we should.
The other
side of the coin though, does show us that in some cases things are not our
fault. When we find and acknowledge those situations with Jesus at our side He
will transform that pain into forgiveness. He will poor out His healing and
will put together the tiny pieces of our shattered hearts. He will take our
pain from us and replace it with love and forgiveness.
So I want to
encourage you, as you seek the change in your life. Start with the pains from
your past. Start with identifying your wounds and invite Jesus into them. Let
Him shine the light of TRUTH into your dark past. Don’t forget. Jesus knows the pain you feel.
He is not some lofty God sitting on a throne somewhere who has no idea what is
people go through. He lived it. He was man, He suffered, he was tempted, and He
knows how you feel.
Let Him in.
Stop repeating the lies that are so hurtful to you. Let them go, replace them
with the truth that you are cherished. You are one of a kind and designed
specifically by God for a purpose.
I close
today, with some scriptures about pain and also with some quotes from other
Christian authors on pain.
Comfort in the Lord
Psalm
18:2 The LORD is my rock and my
fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my
shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Psalm
34:18 The LORD is near to
the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Jesus Felt Pain
Hebrews
2:18 For because he
himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being
tempted.
Pain Leads to Repentance
2
Corinthians 7:9-10 As it is, I
rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into
repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret,
whereas worldly grief produces death.
Hope in the Future
Revelation
22:4-5 They will see his
face, and his name will be on their foreheads. And night will be no more. They
will need no light of lampor sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and
they will reign forever and ever.
Romans
8:18 For I consider that the
sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is
to be revealed to us.
Biblical Example of Pain in Job
Job
1:21 And he said, “Naked I came
from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD
has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”
Job
6:10 This would be my
comfort; I would even exult in pain unsparing, for I have not denied the
words of the Holy One.
Strength Comes from God to Overcome Pain
1
Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is
not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability,
but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be
able to endure it.
1
Peter 5:9-10 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds
of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace,who has called
you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm,
strengthen, and establish you.
Important
Note: These Bible verses are helpful as written but to experience more
discernment on this topic, please open your Bible and read the context these
verses were taken from.
Christian Quotes About Pain
Pain is a kindly, hopeful
thing, a certain proof of life, a clear assurance that all is not yet over,
that there is still a chance. But if your heart has no pain
— well, that may betoken health, as you suppose: but are you certain that it
does not mean that your soul is dead?
~ A.J. Gossip
Though
poor in this world’s goods, though grieving the loss of loved ones, though
suffering pain of body, though harassed by
sin and Satan, though hated and persecuted by worldlings, whatever be the case
and lot of the Christian, it is both his privilege and duty to rejoice in the
Lord. ~ A.W. Pink
In
spite of sorrow, loss, and pain, Our course
be onward still; We sow on Burmah’s barren plain, We reap on Zion’s hill. ~ Adoniram Judson
We
are certainly in a common class with the beasts; every action of animal life is
concerned with seeking bodily pleasure and avoiding pain. ~ Augustine
Pain removes the veil; it
plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul. ~ C.S. Lewis
Pain is no evil, unless
it conquers us. ~ Charles
Kingsley
I
am certain that I never did grow in grace one-half so much anywhere as I have
upon the bed of pain. ~ Charles Spurgeon
As
I look back over fifty years of ministry, I recall innumerable tests, trials
and times of crushing pain. But through it
all, the Lord has proven faithful, loving, and totally true to all his
promises. ~ David Wilkerson
I
am not a theologian or a scholar, but I am very aware of the fact that pain is necessary to all of us. In my own life, I
think I can honestly say that out of the deepest pain
has come the strongest conviction of the presence of God and the love of
God. ~ Elizabeth
Elliot
God
never allows pain without a purpose in the
lives of His children. He never allows Satan, nor circumstances, nor any
ill-intending person to afflict us unless He uses that affliction for our good.
God never wastes pain. He always causes it
to work together for our ultimate good, the good of conforming us more to the
likeness of His Son (see Romans 8:28-29). ~ Jerry Bridges
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