Who is with you?

This past week you were asked what was next. We found a clue at the cross, just moments before Jesus breathed His last breath, as described in Luke 23:44-46. The veil was torn. We learned that, prior to the coming of Christ, only the High Priest was allowed to be in the presence of God on one day during the year; on the Day of Atonement. God’s dwelling place was the inner most room of the temple and was referred to as the Holiest of Holies and the entrance was a massive curtain or veil. If anyone entered the room they would die. If the High Priest had not properly followed the self preparations he would be struck dead. (Leviticus 16).  

Just prior to Christ’s death the veil in the temple was torn in two from the top to the bottom thus removing the barrier which separated us, a sinful people, from a Holy God. It is an invitation to us to enter into a relationship with God through His son Jesus Christ.

Wondering what a relationship with Christ looked like we again, took our lead from the man himself.

In Luke 9:23 Christ said to His disciples “If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” 

We discussed what it was like for any of us to seek a boyfriend or a girlfriend and the lengths that we would go. Making time, having conversation, studying them and learning all we could. Then using that information to please them. We need to take the same approach with Christ. We can engage Him through prayer and we can learn about Him through studying His word daily. You were encouraged to spend time in prayer each morning and to also read the scriptures with the goal to build that relationship. How you doing on that challenge?

To go deeper this week I feel we need to talk about going even further in our personal relationships. If we back up in Luke chapter 9 we see that it opens with Jesus sending out the disciples to heal the sick and proclaim the kingdom of God. 

Luke 9:1-2 NIV  1When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, 2 and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick.

And in the beginning of the 10^th chapter of Luke Jesus sends out 72 others in pairs of two:

Luke 10:1 NIV - After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go.

Jesus sent them out two by two.

Companions with a shared mission he sent them, together.

Not alone. Not commando. Together. 

Jesus had his own circle of friends right? There were 12 of them and we refer to them as the disciples. Did you know that he had an inner circle? He had a core of three with whom He was closest; Peter, John and James. (see Luke 8:51-52 and Mark 9:2-3). 

We all need close friends to help us get through this life, to help keep us on the narrow road. It is much too hard a journey that we should try and do it by ourselves. Even Jesus had his core so we should be no different.  

When I talk about having close friends I am not talking about your family or your spouse. I am talking about a same sex friend. Someone who you can be real with, someone whom you can trust, and someone you have to hold you accountable. This person needs to be able to call you on your stuff and also be able to allow you to call them on their stuff. That is what Proverbs 27:17 is talking about.

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

This friend, this companion that I am describing is someone who is willing to get to know you, all of you, and is willing to just shoot you straight. This friend must also be willing to let themselves become known and also willing to listen when you shoot them straight. 

What does that take?

It starts with being real with each other, there has to be honesty, so you have to develop trust. Stop posing. You must contain some wisdom, the ability to forgive, and most importantly a shared mission or goal. If you don’t share something in common the friendship won’t last. 

Nervous yet?   

That kind of relationship takes time to develop and also requires an investment on our part. It is nothing you can just flippantly do and not just anyone can fill this roll. We need a same sex friend in our life like this. No doubt in my mind that this should be one of the most important relationships you develop (next to a relationship with Christ of course). 

Yes, if you’re married or considering marriage that relationship is also important and very valuable. It is an institution established by God and I am not trying to minimize it at all. The net result of what I am suggesting though would enhance your marriage and make it stronger. Maybe even teach you how to be a better friend inside your marriage. Your spouse can’t be your only outlet for all that goes on in your life. They can be and should be a big part of it but they can’t be all you have. Neither should you be all they have. Men, you can’t get masculinity from your wife and women you can’t get femininity from your husband. You need close personal friends for this and without them you over task your spouse seeking that which they cannot provide.    

 

In this day and age these kinds of friendships are not a sought after goal in life. Do you think, in today’s world, we put a lot effort into having solid friendships? The world puts a lot of value on being in a relationship with the opposite sex first and for most. That is the goal right? Get a girl, find a guy, fall in love, get married and kick out a couple kids……white picket fence and all? We have friends before all that happens but when we enter a serious relationship with the opposite sex don’t the friends seem to fall by the wayside? Especially if they are single?

Consider these comments on friendship by C.S Lewis:

To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it. We admit of course that besides a wife and family a man needs a few "friends". But the very tone of the admission, and the sort of acquaintanceships which those who make it would describe as "friendships", show clearly that what they are talking about has very little to do with that Philia which Aristotle classified among the virtues or that Amicitia on which Cicero wrote a book. It is something quite marginal, not a main course in life’s banquet; a diversion; something that fills up the chinks of one's time. How has this come about? The first and most obvious answer is that few value it because few experience it. C.S. Lewis. The Four Loves (1960)

Are his comments any less true today? I think not. I mean really…how many of your relationships can you say sharpen you as iron sharpens iron? Do you have that level of accountability in your circles? I know I didn’t.

I do now but it wasn’t always that way. I have two very close brothers in Christ with whom I owe a great deal. I would not be half the man I am today if they did not have an influence in my life and I theirs. These men are my companions, my iron, and we do have a shared mission. We are Christ followers, single parents, and recognize that we wake up every day in the midst of war. I consider them my closest friends and I love them unconditionally. We fight, we disagree, but we also are open to the others opinions. Sometimes we come to agreements and sometimes we just know what we disagree on and leave it to God to straighten us out. We talk almost daily of not several times during the day. We have shared some of our lowest lows and have celebrated some if our highest highs. We do it together. They are my brotherhood, my fellow warriors, and are a part of what I like to call Christ’s Platoon. We are always looking for more men to join us. 

I share these things with you not to say “hey look at me” but to share humbly, that these kinds of friendships are not only possible but essential. 

As we take our next steps towards a deeper relationship with Christ we should also take a few friends on the journey as well. We will need them. They will only enhance and compliment the experience. We need our own platoon.  

 Jesus had them shouldn’t you?